1 00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:04,547 Welcome to Camp Blue Finch, 2 00:00:05,277 --> 00:00:08,582 where romance in the sun can turn deadly! 3 00:00:10,072 --> 00:00:12,221 Best summer ever! 4 00:00:14,137 --> 00:00:16,496 This is the summer that's going to change your life. 5 00:00:16,592 --> 00:00:17,686 Where the days are warm... 6 00:00:17,782 --> 00:00:22,080 - Hey, Nance, that guitar is choice. - Thanks, Blake. Bitching hair. 7 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:24,245 ...the girls are cool... 8 00:00:24,340 --> 00:00:25,895 Did I miss the Kumbaya circle? 9 00:00:25,990 --> 00:00:28,260 ...the nights are always hot. 10 00:00:28,676 --> 00:00:30,715 And evil lurks around every corner. 11 00:00:30,861 --> 00:00:33,208 Gosh, you startled me. 12 00:00:33,355 --> 00:00:35,023 So, I just go down that path all the way? 13 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:37,662 A guy like you can go anywhere he wants. 14 00:00:38,648 --> 00:00:42,292 And any moment, Billy can strike. 15 00:00:50,846 --> 00:00:52,538 They won't be singing Kumbaya. 16 00:00:54,413 --> 00:00:57,828 They'll be screaming Kum Ba No! 17 00:00:58,979 --> 00:01:01,260 Pack your bags for Camp Bloodbath... 18 00:01:01,356 --> 00:01:03,600 You just messed with the wrong virgin. 19 00:01:03,696 --> 00:01:08,039 ...where the only marshmallow that will roast is your sanity. 20 00:01:52,681 --> 00:01:55,910 Well, they'll let me know. 21 00:01:56,325 --> 00:01:58,722 You know you're too good for this crap, right? 22 00:01:58,818 --> 00:02:01,369 The casting director was all like, "I know you from somewhere." 23 00:02:01,464 --> 00:02:05,320 And I went, "Really? It's probably my arc on CSI as a bipolar mistress." 24 00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:08,220 And he's like, "No, I got it. Camp Bloodbath." 25 00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:13,059 Am I ever going to live that movie down? I mean, it was 20 years ago. 26 00:02:13,163 --> 00:02:15,816 Honestly, if you ever become an actor, don't ever do a slasher flick. 27 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,745 You wouldn't catch me dead in a movie. You're the actress here. 28 00:02:18,841 --> 00:02:23,565 Damn straight. And I'm no actress. I'm a movie star. 29 00:02:28,431 --> 00:02:29,391 Mel's? 30 00:02:31,308 --> 00:02:32,268 Mel's. 31 00:02:33,416 --> 00:02:34,770 Let's rock and roll. 32 00:02:38,902 --> 00:02:42,834 So, we owe the electric company $174.88 by next Monday... 33 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:45,635 You remember Frank? 34 00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:48,319 He told me he was going to take me to Palm Springs this weekend. 35 00:02:48,416 --> 00:02:50,684 - No message. No text. - No surprise. 36 00:02:50,793 --> 00:02:53,153 You know, it's just he said we were exclusive. 37 00:02:53,248 --> 00:02:55,135 Well, he said it, he doesn't act like it. 38 00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:58,125 Whatever. What do I know? 39 00:03:00,499 --> 00:03:02,205 You must think I'm a total zero. 40 00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:05,301 Screw him, Mom. And screw his shady hotel in Palm Springs. 41 00:03:06,214 --> 00:03:09,825 Oh, my God. Look at you taking care of me. 42 00:03:11,047 --> 00:03:13,482 What happened to that little girl I used to dance with in the backyard? 43 00:03:13,578 --> 00:03:17,648 She grew up and is trying to figure out where this $174 is gonna come from. 44 00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,898 What are you doing? Are you crazy? 45 00:03:24,088 --> 00:03:25,093 Our song! 46 00:03:27,004 --> 00:03:28,618 Mom. We need to figure this out. 47 00:03:29,497 --> 00:03:32,149 Her hair is Harlowe gold 48 00:03:33,525 --> 00:03:36,329 Her lips sweet surprise 49 00:03:37,361 --> 00:03:38,607 Her hands are never cold 50 00:03:38,704 --> 00:03:40,132 You're such a dork. 51 00:03:41,197 --> 00:03:43,286 She's got Bette Davis eyes 52 00:03:43,383 --> 00:03:45,379 Everything in my life, I got wrong. 53 00:03:46,221 --> 00:03:47,880 But you, I got you right. 54 00:03:48,523 --> 00:03:50,792 I love you. You know that, right? 55 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,975 She's pure as New York snow 56 00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:56,253 She's got Bette Davis eyes 57 00:03:56,347 --> 00:03:57,352 What? 58 00:03:58,765 --> 00:03:59,724 Nothing. 59 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:01,681 Nothing. 60 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,144 She'll unease you 61 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,786 All the better just to please you 62 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:11,826 She's precocious and she knows just 63 00:04:11,921 --> 00:04:16,069 What it takes to make a pro blush 64 00:04:16,218 --> 00:04:20,187 She got Greta Garbo stand off sighs 65 00:04:20,284 --> 00:04:24,047 She's got Bette Davis eyes 66 00:04:24,579 --> 00:04:26,195 Max, those are really expensive... 67 00:05:36,195 --> 00:05:37,886 Gertie's here. 68 00:05:40,377 --> 00:05:42,110 Coming, Aunt Pearl. 69 00:05:47,741 --> 00:05:51,328 So, when Chris asked you to study, was he like, 70 00:05:51,423 --> 00:05:52,861 "I want you to come study"? 71 00:05:52,958 --> 00:05:56,492 Or was he like, "I want you to come. 72 00:05:57,944 --> 00:05:59,191 "Study." 73 00:05:59,287 --> 00:06:01,492 Please. I'm only going, so I don't flunk Classics. 74 00:06:01,589 --> 00:06:03,488 Come on, you know that he broke up with Vicki last week, right? 75 00:06:03,583 --> 00:06:05,290 And she is a mess. 76 00:06:05,385 --> 00:06:09,548 Have you seen the veiled suicide notepoem she posted on her Facebook page? 77 00:06:09,643 --> 00:06:11,925 It's so hilarious. 78 00:06:12,022 --> 00:06:14,825 I read it out loud to myself. A lot. 79 00:06:20,077 --> 00:06:22,859 Hey, just keep on keeping on. 80 00:06:22,954 --> 00:06:24,090 What does that even mean? 81 00:06:24,101 --> 00:06:26,184 Something my therapist tells me all the time. 82 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,403 You have a therapist? 83 00:06:28,670 --> 00:06:30,645 Does that help you deal? 84 00:06:30,740 --> 00:06:34,931 No, not really. She's a physical therapist, so... 85 00:06:36,457 --> 00:06:38,776 Okay. So, the myth of Persephone. Max, you want to take this one? 86 00:06:38,873 --> 00:06:40,542 Sure. 87 00:06:40,638 --> 00:06:44,300 She's the daughter of Zeus and she eats pomegranate seeds, 88 00:06:44,396 --> 00:06:47,330 and then Hades kidnaps her to the underworld. 89 00:06:47,427 --> 00:06:48,444 Yeah. Okay, good. 90 00:06:48,539 --> 00:06:50,975 So, they go back to the underworld and Persephone is freaking out, 91 00:06:51,071 --> 00:06:52,280 and Hermes is like, "It's okay, it's okay. 92 00:06:52,374 --> 00:06:55,041 "Just keep looking forward, or we'll be stuck here forever." 93 00:06:55,136 --> 00:06:57,918 Max, do you want to jot any of this down or... 94 00:06:58,013 --> 00:06:59,606 No, it's okay, Max. I've already got a copy. 95 00:06:59,702 --> 00:07:03,771 You can copy from me later or I can give it to you if you want. 96 00:07:04,919 --> 00:07:06,424 I'm gonna stop talking. 97 00:07:09,022 --> 00:07:11,229 - Shit. - Max, hey, wait. 98 00:07:11,324 --> 00:07:13,262 - Did you not get my messages? - Duncan. No. 99 00:07:13,357 --> 00:07:15,626 Please, come on. Please. 100 00:07:15,812 --> 00:07:17,579 Seriously, no. 101 00:07:17,769 --> 00:07:19,783 The Bath-maticians were so excited when I told them 102 00:07:19,877 --> 00:07:22,148 that Amanda Cartwright's daughter was my sister's best friend. 103 00:07:22,294 --> 00:07:23,090 Step-sister. 104 00:07:23,102 --> 00:07:25,525 Why would you say that? That's so hurtful. 105 00:07:25,631 --> 00:07:28,144 Please, Max, I promised that you'd be there. 106 00:07:28,241 --> 00:07:31,731 I am the assistant general manager of the varsity. Think of my reputation. 107 00:07:31,846 --> 00:07:33,308 Wait. What are "Bath-maticians"? 108 00:07:33,418 --> 00:07:36,544 Camp Bloodbath fans. It's kind of our awesome nickname. 109 00:07:36,641 --> 00:07:38,923 Did you know that a nickname immediately becomes uncool 110 00:07:39,019 --> 00:07:41,302 - when you give it to yourself? - You know what, Gertie? 111 00:07:41,398 --> 00:07:44,626 When my dad told me that I was going to get a sister, I cried 112 00:07:44,734 --> 00:07:46,240 because that's all I'd ever wanted. 113 00:07:47,075 --> 00:07:50,609 But not like this. Not like this. 114 00:07:51,716 --> 00:07:52,676 Don't. 115 00:07:54,746 --> 00:07:56,972 Look, Camp Bloodbath is like the granddaddy 116 00:07:57,085 --> 00:07:58,715 of all campsite slasher films, okay. 117 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:02,321 Amazing production design, insane music, over-the-top acting. 118 00:08:02,418 --> 00:08:03,741 It's a cult classic. 119 00:08:03,837 --> 00:08:07,079 Max's mom plays Nancy, this sort of shy girl-next-door 120 00:08:07,174 --> 00:08:08,958 who gives up her butterfly to some dumb jock, 121 00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:12,818 and Billy Murphy comes along and chops her ass up on a waterbed. 122 00:08:13,733 --> 00:08:16,384 Sorry, Duncan. Tell your cult, maybe I'll see them next year. 123 00:08:18,107 --> 00:08:20,504 I'll do all your Classics assignments for the rest of the year. 124 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,689 Papers, your homework, all of it. 125 00:08:22,786 --> 00:08:25,328 Gertie told me that you were failing. 126 00:08:25,470 --> 00:08:28,275 Please, Max, what do you say? You wanna graduate, or not? 127 00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:39,971 Max! 128 00:08:41,543 --> 00:08:44,042 - Gertie! - You scared me. 129 00:08:45,839 --> 00:08:47,530 Well, this will be fun. 130 00:08:47,642 --> 00:08:50,462 Being trapped in a movie theater with a bunch of nerds. 131 00:08:50,558 --> 00:08:51,746 Yeah, sure. 132 00:08:52,629 --> 00:08:57,366 You know what was fun, though? Watching Chris today, ogle over you. 133 00:08:57,461 --> 00:08:59,765 - Shut up. - What? That's a word, right? Ogle? 134 00:08:59,878 --> 00:09:02,007 He likes you so much, it's so cute. 135 00:09:02,104 --> 00:09:05,037 Gertie. Get real. He's like a giant, okay? So, imagine us together. 136 00:09:05,133 --> 00:09:06,715 - I'd need stilts to kiss him. - Hey! 137 00:09:08,817 --> 00:09:09,775 - Hey! - Hi. 138 00:09:10,504 --> 00:09:13,810 - What are you doing here? - I figured you needed some moral support. 139 00:09:15,261 --> 00:09:17,428 Why, should I go? Because I can if this is weird... 140 00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:21,149 No, don't be crazy, Christopher. We're so happy you're here. 141 00:09:21,245 --> 00:09:23,394 I'm going to go popcorn up, see you inside. 142 00:09:32,099 --> 00:09:34,827 Wow. Your mom was gorgeous. 143 00:09:36,588 --> 00:09:39,240 I'm sorry. That's a weird thing to say, isn't it? 144 00:09:40,039 --> 00:09:41,120 Kind of. 145 00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:43,462 It's kind of cool we get to honor her memory this way, right? 146 00:09:46,216 --> 00:09:48,332 Today's the anniversary of her death. 147 00:09:52,122 --> 00:09:53,279 I don't know what to say. 148 00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:55,422 Me neither. 149 00:09:57,340 --> 00:09:58,616 At least, I get to see her, 150 00:09:59,411 --> 00:10:01,637 even if she is being chased by a psycho with a machete. 151 00:10:04,551 --> 00:10:07,125 - Stop, stop, stop. - Great. 152 00:10:08,004 --> 00:10:10,401 Hey! What a coincidence! 153 00:10:10,496 --> 00:10:13,929 This is Tyson. We've been hanging out and he's so funny. 154 00:10:14,026 --> 00:10:17,573 My abs are like shredded from laughing so hard. 155 00:10:17,669 --> 00:10:18,917 Anyway, Tyson wanted to come here tonight 156 00:10:19,012 --> 00:10:22,330 and I was like, "Oh, my God, no." But here we are. 157 00:10:22,426 --> 00:10:24,401 So, you win, Tyson. 158 00:10:24,497 --> 00:10:26,842 So, you didn't see my post about it, or anything? 159 00:10:26,953 --> 00:10:28,582 No, I don't go on your stupid Twitter, 160 00:10:28,678 --> 00:10:30,752 which, by the way, has lost three more followers today. 161 00:10:31,134 --> 00:10:34,090 Anyway, see you guys inside, okay? Go. 162 00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:38,900 I'm so wiped from all these applications. 163 00:10:38,996 --> 00:10:40,917 Even my safety schools, Stanford and Cornell, 164 00:10:41,029 --> 00:10:43,772 I'm not gonna just half-ass them. You know it's just not my style. 165 00:10:43,869 --> 00:10:46,488 I am lucky that I even made it out tonight at all. 166 00:10:46,592 --> 00:10:48,055 Thank you, Adderall. 167 00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:51,061 Where'd Terry go? 168 00:10:51,157 --> 00:10:52,901 - Terry? Tyson? - Tyson. 169 00:10:52,998 --> 00:10:56,304 Yeah, he just got like super-sick super-fast. 170 00:10:57,370 --> 00:10:59,596 No, not the super-sick super-fast. 171 00:10:59,711 --> 00:11:05,350 Max, are they doing this because it's, you know, the anniversary? 172 00:11:06,155 --> 00:11:09,357 Yeah, I'm here for an appearance. I didn't think you'd... 173 00:11:09,453 --> 00:11:11,505 Come on, Max. Of course, I would remember. 174 00:11:11,601 --> 00:11:14,557 I have really good memory. It's not just the Adderall. 175 00:11:15,054 --> 00:11:16,262 Hey, do you want anything? 176 00:11:16,358 --> 00:11:19,830 I'm gonna go get a popcorn and then we can dump MandM'S into it. 177 00:11:19,926 --> 00:11:22,652 That way, every handful is, like, kind of suspenseful? 178 00:11:23,531 --> 00:11:24,471 Sure. 179 00:11:24,566 --> 00:11:27,271 Hey, Chris, I'm just gonna have a Diet Coke and a child-size popcorn, 180 00:11:27,367 --> 00:11:29,687 but make sure to dump half of it into the garbage. You remember, right? 181 00:11:29,784 --> 00:11:31,913 You know what, I'm just going to come with you. 182 00:11:32,008 --> 00:11:35,620 She is the worst. She's like a living nightmare. 183 00:11:36,497 --> 00:11:38,165 I can't believe you used to be friends with her. 184 00:11:38,261 --> 00:11:39,430 Look, she's probably gonna pee on him 185 00:11:39,526 --> 00:11:40,658 - just to mark her territory. - Gertie! 186 00:11:40,753 --> 00:11:41,757 Max! 187 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,939 - Hey, hey, you came. - Oh, God. 188 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,707 All hail, Max! 189 00:11:46,777 --> 00:11:48,560 Sorry, I don't know why I worshipped you then, 190 00:11:48,655 --> 00:11:49,710 I'm just excited to see you. 191 00:11:49,807 --> 00:11:53,240 You're also really weird. You're very strange and weird. 192 00:11:53,335 --> 00:11:55,617 I can put you down for the QandA, right? 193 00:11:55,713 --> 00:11:58,534 - After the show, do a little Q. - No. 194 00:11:58,629 --> 00:12:00,182 And a little... 195 00:12:00,278 --> 00:12:02,394 I'll put you down as a maybe. Okay, glad you're here. 196 00:12:32,883 --> 00:12:36,375 Hey, guys, we're here! 197 00:12:38,330 --> 00:12:40,403 Someone wake up Sleeping Beauty back there. 198 00:12:45,924 --> 00:12:47,539 Are we there yet? 199 00:12:54,978 --> 00:12:56,090 You okay? 200 00:12:58,429 --> 00:12:59,390 Yeah. 201 00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,887 It all happened so long ago. 202 00:13:02,994 --> 00:13:05,459 Little Billy Murphy went to camp here decades ago. 203 00:13:05,642 --> 00:13:10,060 And he was always picked on for being different, ugly. 204 00:13:10,282 --> 00:13:13,513 And then one summer, the hottest one on record, 205 00:13:13,619 --> 00:13:16,118 the counselors decided to play a little prank on him. 206 00:13:19,834 --> 00:13:23,382 No one really knows how Billy was before it happened. 207 00:13:23,477 --> 00:13:27,318 The counselors hated him, and the other kids bullied him mercilessly. 208 00:13:27,583 --> 00:13:29,622 Stop! Go away! 209 00:13:34,065 --> 00:13:37,479 - Billy, open up. - I know how to get him out. 210 00:14:00,571 --> 00:14:04,836 Soak this moment in, babe, because you're always gonna remember me. 211 00:14:05,251 --> 00:14:08,644 - What does that tattoo mean? - It was given to me in juvie. 212 00:14:08,741 --> 00:14:12,310 I was caught stealing cherries. I'm a cherry thief. 213 00:14:16,758 --> 00:14:17,717 Neat. 214 00:14:33,827 --> 00:14:35,213 Nice legs. 215 00:14:36,205 --> 00:14:37,285 What time they open? 216 00:14:47,022 --> 00:14:47,983 Kurt? 217 00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:56,920 Kurt? 218 00:14:57,686 --> 00:14:59,682 I'm going to get some air. 219 00:15:26,379 --> 00:15:27,764 The exits are blocked! 220 00:15:28,833 --> 00:15:30,467 Duncan, is there an exit behind the screen? 221 00:15:30,478 --> 00:15:31,027 Yes. Yes. 222 00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:34,707 - Come on! - Go, go, go. 223 00:15:45,443 --> 00:15:46,479 Go, go, go. 224 00:16:21,998 --> 00:16:23,613 - Max! - Oh, God! What happened? 225 00:16:23,725 --> 00:16:26,986 - Where the hell are we? - I don't know. Did the theater burn down? 226 00:16:28,250 --> 00:16:31,054 That was the scariest thing I have ever seen. 227 00:16:31,587 --> 00:16:34,023 You're alive! Thank God! 228 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:36,171 What does poison ivy look like? Because I think I got... 229 00:16:36,268 --> 00:16:37,228 Help me. 230 00:16:39,029 --> 00:16:40,142 Guys, somebody's coming. 231 00:16:53,874 --> 00:16:56,417 Hey, do you guys know the way to Camp Blue Finch? 232 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:58,562 - Tina! - Yeah? 233 00:17:10,791 --> 00:17:13,670 Oh, my God. I'm having a psychotic episode. 234 00:17:14,089 --> 00:17:17,973 - We all saw the same thing, right? - Maybe it's a dream. A collective dream. 235 00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:20,131 If this is a dream, then there's a very strong chance 236 00:17:20,226 --> 00:17:24,159 that my dad's going to come up to us naked and offer us some pecan pie. 237 00:17:24,254 --> 00:17:27,440 But don't take any. It is not pecan pie. 238 00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:34,937 Maybe we're dead and this is heaven. 239 00:17:35,033 --> 00:17:37,506 This can't be heaven. Max is here and she's Jewish. 240 00:17:37,603 --> 00:17:40,025 Right. Well, maybe it's Jewish heaven. 241 00:17:41,746 --> 00:17:42,705 Look! 242 00:17:54,212 --> 00:17:57,414 Hey, do you guys know the way to Camp Blue Finch? 243 00:17:57,511 --> 00:18:00,544 Yeah. Just keep going the way you're going. 244 00:18:01,001 --> 00:18:03,424 Wow, okay. Thanks so much. 245 00:18:06,180 --> 00:18:09,333 We're not dead. We're insane! 246 00:18:09,786 --> 00:18:13,626 No, we're not. And I don't think we're in the Valley anymore. 247 00:18:17,688 --> 00:18:20,584 - Is anybody getting any bars? - No. 248 00:18:20,679 --> 00:18:24,596 8, 7, 6, 5... 249 00:18:34,412 --> 00:18:36,886 Hey, do you guys know the way to Camp Blue Finch? 250 00:18:36,981 --> 00:18:39,148 Yeah, actually we're counselors, 251 00:18:39,245 --> 00:18:41,873 and we can show you if you'd just give us a ride. 252 00:18:41,968 --> 00:18:44,672 - Rad! Yeah, hop in. - Tubular! 253 00:18:44,769 --> 00:18:46,918 Dude, what are you doing? 254 00:18:47,031 --> 00:18:50,948 Do we have a choice? We're kind of stuck. Let's go. 255 00:18:51,135 --> 00:18:52,216 Max. 256 00:18:57,197 --> 00:18:58,201 Come on, guys. 257 00:19:02,374 --> 00:19:03,652 You guys coming? 258 00:19:10,201 --> 00:19:14,017 I can't believe you guys are counselors, too. We've never had this many before. 259 00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:16,318 When the kids get here next week, they're gonna be so pumped. 260 00:19:16,415 --> 00:19:17,967 Hey, where are you guys' suitcases? 261 00:19:18,064 --> 00:19:21,343 Because, honestly, your clothes, they're disgusting. 262 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:22,916 Says the guy in the crop top. 263 00:19:23,011 --> 00:19:26,598 What's up? Are you guys poor people? Are you guys poor? 264 00:19:26,695 --> 00:19:30,550 We packed light. Yeah. What did you pack, Tina? 265 00:19:30,645 --> 00:19:33,874 The basics, bikini, mouthwash, diaphragm. 266 00:19:34,787 --> 00:19:38,050 Hell, yeah, you did. 'Cause they're gonna get so naked. 267 00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:40,159 How did you know? 268 00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:43,477 Spring break, forever. 269 00:19:43,571 --> 00:19:47,064 Hey, guys, we're here! 270 00:19:48,981 --> 00:19:51,402 Someone wake up Sleeping Beauty back there. 271 00:19:59,912 --> 00:20:01,299 Are we there yet? 272 00:20:09,886 --> 00:20:11,075 Hi! 273 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,037 I'm Nancy. What's your name? 274 00:20:17,021 --> 00:20:18,296 Max. 275 00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:24,241 First time away from home? It's okay. It's hard to be away from your parents, huh? 276 00:20:33,207 --> 00:20:34,866 Best summer ever! 277 00:20:53,154 --> 00:20:54,267 Yes. 278 00:20:57,796 --> 00:21:01,909 Well, kiddo, this is the summer that's going to change your life. 279 00:21:03,395 --> 00:21:04,355 No kidding. 280 00:21:05,122 --> 00:21:08,963 - Hey, Nance, that guitar is choice. - Thanks, Blake. Bitching hair. 281 00:21:10,531 --> 00:21:13,411 Okay. So, we're in the movie. 282 00:21:13,868 --> 00:21:16,035 - How do we get outta here? - Yeah, I like that question. 283 00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:17,186 That's a really, really good question. 284 00:21:17,282 --> 00:21:18,874 Duncan, can you answer that question, please? 285 00:21:18,969 --> 00:21:22,901 What are you talking about? It's 1986! Our homes don't exist yet. 286 00:21:22,998 --> 00:21:25,894 They're probably just landfills waiting to be turned into crappy subdivisions. 287 00:21:25,989 --> 00:21:27,581 We don't exist yet. 288 00:21:27,676 --> 00:21:31,212 I know for a fact my parents haven't met because I was an unplanned child. 289 00:21:32,241 --> 00:21:34,217 Anyone wanna help me pick some strawberries? 290 00:21:34,312 --> 00:21:37,619 No, but I'll give you a hand with those melons. 291 00:21:37,804 --> 00:21:40,508 Talking about her boobs! You guys get me, right? 292 00:21:40,603 --> 00:21:42,218 Yeah, we do, brother. 293 00:21:43,902 --> 00:21:46,798 Kurt is insatiable. 294 00:21:46,895 --> 00:21:50,854 Okay, so Mimi's in the woods, that means everything is right on schedule. 295 00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:53,934 - She hooks up with that hiker. - But then she gets killed, right? 296 00:21:54,029 --> 00:21:57,385 Yeah, exactly. Everyone who has sex in this movie dies. 297 00:21:57,482 --> 00:21:58,442 It's awesome. 298 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:00,915 I got into bodybuilding big time. 299 00:22:01,010 --> 00:22:03,814 - Yeah. Oh, my God, can I touch it? - Yeah, touch it. 300 00:22:03,926 --> 00:22:06,392 The backside's just as hard. Touch the backside. 301 00:22:07,262 --> 00:22:09,183 That's right. Everyone. 302 00:22:09,450 --> 00:22:10,772 I'm with Gertie on this one. 303 00:22:10,869 --> 00:22:13,075 Let's just take their van and bail. What do we have to lose? 304 00:22:13,169 --> 00:22:14,598 Yeah, did I say that? I did? Okay. 305 00:22:15,087 --> 00:22:17,740 We actually probably shouldn't talk to them. 306 00:22:19,230 --> 00:22:23,393 - What's up, funbags? - Funbags. Right. Yay, feminism. 307 00:22:23,488 --> 00:22:27,526 Listen, we need to borrow your van for a little while. Is that okay? Yeah? 308 00:22:27,708 --> 00:22:30,556 I don't know. What's in it for me? 309 00:22:31,236 --> 00:22:33,507 How about my friends don't kick your ass? 310 00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:41,805 This guy's your friend? Yeah, right. You want to go? 311 00:22:41,901 --> 00:22:44,068 - No, no. God, no. - Bicep, smash. 312 00:22:44,163 --> 00:22:46,216 And that would kill you. That's a karate technique. 313 00:22:46,311 --> 00:22:49,285 No, I don't. I've never actually fought anyone before in my life. 314 00:22:49,380 --> 00:22:51,115 Yeah, well, I have. So many times. 315 00:22:53,024 --> 00:22:54,181 7 times. 316 00:22:54,828 --> 00:22:58,559 Hey, this is so weird. Do me a favor and just zing me. Just get me. 317 00:22:58,664 --> 00:23:02,472 Fine. How about you go suck a turd? 318 00:23:04,417 --> 00:23:05,922 The writing is so bad. 319 00:23:06,449 --> 00:23:11,709 Okay, tell you what. You find the keys and the van's yours. 320 00:23:15,540 --> 00:23:16,578 Really? 321 00:23:17,766 --> 00:23:19,742 - I'm glad that you die. - What? 322 00:23:19,836 --> 00:23:23,645 Nothing! What she meant to say was, that we all die eventually. 323 00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:26,377 Technically, we start dying the moment we're born. 324 00:23:26,473 --> 00:23:27,477 Yeah, right. 325 00:23:28,545 --> 00:23:31,621 - Yes, but not to overwhelm you... - Okay. 326 00:23:31,729 --> 00:23:33,129 I liked you when you were laughing at my jokes. 327 00:23:33,224 --> 00:23:34,509 Now, I just think you're weird. 328 00:23:34,605 --> 00:23:36,984 Okay, let's just go get the... Sorry. Let's go get the keys. 329 00:23:52,173 --> 00:23:54,213 Hey, you wanna give me a hand? 330 00:23:55,472 --> 00:23:56,432 Sure. 331 00:23:56,814 --> 00:24:00,656 - All right. Let's rock and roll. - Oh, my God. It really is you. 332 00:24:01,495 --> 00:24:03,959 - What? - Nothing. 333 00:24:06,059 --> 00:24:07,978 All right! Push-up time! 334 00:24:08,475 --> 00:24:09,435 So... 335 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,779 Kurt told me he wants to do it later. 336 00:24:14,613 --> 00:24:17,355 - Wow. Just like that? - I know! 337 00:24:17,452 --> 00:24:19,849 And it's like, I can't stay a virgin forever, you know? 338 00:24:19,945 --> 00:24:22,496 And he's been with a lot of girls, so he can probably, like, 339 00:24:22,592 --> 00:24:24,556 I don't know, help me along. 340 00:24:25,239 --> 00:24:27,278 - You shouldn't have sex! - Why? 341 00:24:27,770 --> 00:24:29,591 Because I heard that sex can kill you. 342 00:24:29,688 --> 00:24:33,121 Max. Sex isn't anything to be afraid of. 343 00:24:33,216 --> 00:24:36,098 I mean, Tina's already done it twice today, and look at her, she's totally normal. 344 00:24:41,541 --> 00:24:44,923 She says the best feeling in the world is getting stoned and doing it on a waterbed. 345 00:24:45,913 --> 00:24:47,888 Don't hang around Tina. 346 00:24:47,985 --> 00:24:51,495 No, but I told myself that I was going to lose my virginity this summer. 347 00:24:51,591 --> 00:24:54,895 - Get drunk! Not necessarily in that order. - Please, just trust me. 348 00:24:55,810 --> 00:24:57,162 You sound like my mom. 349 00:24:58,418 --> 00:24:59,512 Right back at you. 350 00:24:59,607 --> 00:25:03,415 Hello, hi. We have to go get everyone. Let's go. 351 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,255 We will pick this up again. Is that understood? 352 00:25:05,361 --> 00:25:08,394 In the meantime, just stay away from Kurt and keep your shorts on. 353 00:25:09,543 --> 00:25:10,503 Okay. 354 00:25:11,038 --> 00:25:12,152 What are you doing? 355 00:25:13,493 --> 00:25:16,188 Dibs on the one that looks like Ricky Schroder. 356 00:25:16,294 --> 00:25:18,868 Their hair's so flat. It's making me sad. 357 00:25:19,631 --> 00:25:21,550 That girl with the freckles is sort of cute. 358 00:25:21,663 --> 00:25:24,545 You know, none of them are on the counselors' roster. 359 00:25:27,264 --> 00:25:29,609 Where did they come from? 360 00:25:33,899 --> 00:25:37,817 - We are never gonna find these keys. - Not with that attitude, we're not. 361 00:25:38,580 --> 00:25:39,965 Though, you are correct. 362 00:25:48,592 --> 00:25:51,745 - Let's go back. Now. - It's happening. 363 00:25:52,197 --> 00:25:53,827 - We have to warn her. - No. No. 364 00:25:53,923 --> 00:25:56,934 Just think of them as animals on a nature preserve, okay? 365 00:25:57,030 --> 00:26:00,335 Our duty is not to disrupt, but to observe. 366 00:26:03,128 --> 00:26:06,162 Gosh, you startled me. 367 00:26:06,274 --> 00:26:08,134 Sorry, I'm looking for town. 368 00:26:08,231 --> 00:26:13,031 - So, I just go down that path all the way? - A guy like you can go anywhere he wants. 369 00:26:13,639 --> 00:26:16,535 I can't believe we're just gonna casually watch someone get murdered. 370 00:26:16,632 --> 00:26:17,864 What is this, Detroit? 371 00:26:22,424 --> 00:26:24,667 - What is that noise? - It's Billy. He's coming. 372 00:26:24,764 --> 00:26:28,572 - Let's get out of here then. - No, no. Stay, stay. 373 00:26:39,607 --> 00:26:42,183 - Did you hear something? - Baby, I didn't hear a thing. 374 00:26:46,168 --> 00:26:50,161 Give me a second. Go over there. Get ready. 375 00:27:03,199 --> 00:27:04,584 Okay! Where's the beef? 376 00:27:11,253 --> 00:27:13,949 Come on, man! I said, where's the... 377 00:27:27,939 --> 00:27:28,880 Run! 378 00:27:28,975 --> 00:27:30,328 Go, go, go, go! 379 00:27:30,624 --> 00:27:33,022 - Guys, guys, wait, wait, wait. - Duncan! 380 00:27:33,118 --> 00:27:35,898 - What are you doing? - Duncan. 381 00:27:35,995 --> 00:27:38,494 It's okay. He won't hurt us. 382 00:27:38,794 --> 00:27:40,258 He would've killed me by now, okay? 383 00:27:40,482 --> 00:27:43,264 I think it's because we're not actually part of the movie, 384 00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:45,182 he doesn't really know what to do with us. 385 00:27:45,277 --> 00:27:46,893 Isn't that right, Billy Boy? 386 00:27:47,425 --> 00:27:49,543 Man, you are big and scary. 387 00:27:50,188 --> 00:27:51,856 I wonder if all this blood is just corn syrup, you know? 388 00:27:51,951 --> 00:27:53,160 Like these characters are walking around 389 00:27:53,257 --> 00:27:55,101 with just corn syrup in their veins, you know? 390 00:27:55,942 --> 00:27:57,523 Let's give it a shot here. 391 00:27:59,317 --> 00:28:02,979 God. No, that is not corn syrup. 392 00:28:03,076 --> 00:28:05,301 That is... Oh, God, that's blood. 393 00:28:06,682 --> 00:28:08,351 All the more reason for us to get the hell outta here. 394 00:28:08,446 --> 00:28:11,304 No, no. Look, everything in this world is running exactly on schedule. 395 00:28:11,399 --> 00:28:12,752 Besides, to leave, 396 00:28:13,279 --> 00:28:15,600 we probably have to wait until the movie's over, or something. 397 00:28:15,695 --> 00:28:17,134 Well, when is that going to happen? 398 00:28:17,231 --> 00:28:20,739 Okay, look, movies like this end when the final girl kills the main bad guy 399 00:28:20,836 --> 00:28:23,234 and the credits roll. It's actually pretty sick in this one. 400 00:28:23,329 --> 00:28:25,573 She kicks up the sword and she kills him with his own machete 401 00:28:25,669 --> 00:28:28,566 and she's like... And Billy's like... It goes right through his hands. 402 00:28:28,660 --> 00:28:29,620 Like... 403 00:28:31,499 --> 00:28:34,741 Head splits open. Punches it. 404 00:28:34,836 --> 00:28:36,451 - Brain goes out... - Duncan! 405 00:28:37,982 --> 00:28:40,955 Anyway, this smoking hot girl called Paula, 406 00:28:41,050 --> 00:28:43,199 she arrives in the next reel, she's the final girl. 407 00:28:43,774 --> 00:28:48,242 Yeah, she is the only one in this movie who doesn't die. 408 00:28:48,338 --> 00:28:50,160 All we've got to do is stick with her 409 00:28:50,256 --> 00:28:51,542 and we're going to have the best seats in the house. 410 00:28:51,637 --> 00:28:54,303 Trust me, this last battle will blow your minds. 411 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,166 - Okay, selfie time. - Duncan! 412 00:29:14,308 --> 00:29:17,078 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 413 00:29:33,717 --> 00:29:35,194 I think I almost just pissed my pants. 414 00:29:35,289 --> 00:29:37,636 - You did piss your pants. - What? No, I didn't. 415 00:29:53,204 --> 00:29:55,122 Let's get out of here! 416 00:29:58,304 --> 00:30:00,728 Wait! Where are you going? You're gonna miss the slumber party. 417 00:30:00,837 --> 00:30:02,527 You came back! Yay! 418 00:30:05,593 --> 00:30:06,553 This way! 419 00:30:06,743 --> 00:30:09,210 Wait! Where are you going? You're gonna miss the slumber party. 420 00:30:09,313 --> 00:30:11,201 You came back! Yay! 421 00:30:12,843 --> 00:30:14,305 What is happening? 422 00:30:15,527 --> 00:30:18,155 Wait! Where are you going? You're gonna miss the slumber party. 423 00:30:18,251 --> 00:30:20,095 You came back! Yay! 424 00:30:20,552 --> 00:30:22,626 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 425 00:30:25,117 --> 00:30:27,311 I don't think Billy's the only problem. 426 00:30:28,186 --> 00:30:31,109 It's the movie. The movie won't let us leave. 427 00:30:38,466 --> 00:30:41,668 Michael, row your boat ashore 428 00:30:41,765 --> 00:30:44,646 Hallelujah 429 00:30:45,025 --> 00:30:47,907 Michael, row your boat ashore 430 00:30:48,325 --> 00:30:51,204 Hallelujah 431 00:30:51,469 --> 00:30:54,579 Sister, help to trim the sails 432 00:30:54,845 --> 00:30:57,726 Hallelujah 433 00:30:57,876 --> 00:31:01,078 Sister, help to trim the sails 434 00:31:01,175 --> 00:31:04,175 Hallelujah 435 00:31:04,550 --> 00:31:07,430 Jordan's river is deep and wide 436 00:31:07,810 --> 00:31:10,691 Hallelujah 437 00:31:11,033 --> 00:31:13,913 Got a home on the other side 438 00:31:14,178 --> 00:31:17,058 Hallelujah 439 00:31:17,324 --> 00:31:18,938 Come on, everyone. Sing along! 440 00:31:20,162 --> 00:31:23,402 Duncan is dead. We have to warn them. 441 00:31:23,499 --> 00:31:25,014 Please. They're morons. 442 00:31:25,109 --> 00:31:26,816 I wanna know where they keep the hardware in this dump. 443 00:31:26,913 --> 00:31:29,258 I want chainsaws and I want big-ass knives, and I want them now. 444 00:31:29,713 --> 00:31:31,906 What am I gonna tell our parents? 445 00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,702 I don't want to die here, guys. 446 00:31:36,733 --> 00:31:39,733 Me neither. There's got to be a way to get home. 447 00:31:51,423 --> 00:31:53,082 Did I miss the Kumbaya circle? 448 00:31:53,227 --> 00:31:56,199 Paula, you're just in time to start setting up for the slumber party. 449 00:31:56,295 --> 00:31:59,481 Yeah, we took a vote and you get to share my sleeping bag. 450 00:31:59,978 --> 00:32:03,436 Thanks, Kurt. But I'm saving myself for someone who doesn't have a needle dick. 451 00:32:04,466 --> 00:32:08,666 Yeah right, it's like a hammer dick, if anything. 452 00:32:08,762 --> 00:32:09,766 It's a sledgehammer. 453 00:32:10,297 --> 00:32:11,301 Who are they? 454 00:32:12,789 --> 00:32:14,957 They're the new counselors. They're super nice. 455 00:32:15,053 --> 00:32:19,123 - We don't have new counselors. - Well, now we do. 456 00:32:19,234 --> 00:32:22,419 All right, guys, let's split up into groups and get busy. 457 00:32:26,828 --> 00:32:28,459 That's her. That's Paula. 458 00:32:28,555 --> 00:32:30,645 She's the final girl, right? She's the one that kills Billy. 459 00:32:30,742 --> 00:32:32,448 We just have to stay with her till the end of the movie. 460 00:32:32,544 --> 00:32:34,519 I'm sticking to that bitch like white on rice. 461 00:32:34,616 --> 00:32:37,052 Okay. Now, we just have to keep Billy away from us. 462 00:32:37,148 --> 00:32:40,119 It's just like Duncan said. The moment a top comes off, Billy shows up. 463 00:32:40,215 --> 00:32:43,880 Vicki, stick with Paula and Tina. Gertie, you take Blake. Chris, take Kurt. 464 00:32:43,974 --> 00:32:46,832 - No, I want Chris to stick with me. - No, we have to cover everyone. 465 00:32:46,928 --> 00:32:49,249 - I'll stick with my mom. - You know that's not your mom, right? 466 00:32:49,345 --> 00:32:51,282 - Vicki! - Don't defend her. 467 00:32:51,379 --> 00:32:53,451 This delusional shit is gonna get us all killed. 468 00:33:04,996 --> 00:33:09,066 Look at the pair on her! I would just motorboat those for hours. 469 00:33:09,177 --> 00:33:12,820 Yeah, but look at those articles, I could read those all night long. 470 00:33:13,550 --> 00:33:18,287 What are you, a fag? You don't like some nice big hoots? 471 00:33:18,383 --> 00:33:19,496 Hooting! 472 00:33:19,916 --> 00:33:22,187 My dads are gay. So, shut the hell up. 473 00:33:22,333 --> 00:33:24,578 Yeah, right! Gay guys can't have kids. 474 00:33:24,673 --> 00:33:27,838 They're too busy going to discos and having sex with each other. 475 00:33:27,934 --> 00:33:29,930 It's actually a pretty cool lifestyle. 476 00:33:35,951 --> 00:33:37,312 - Hi. - Hey. 477 00:33:37,409 --> 00:33:39,951 - I really like your pin. - Thank you. 478 00:33:42,319 --> 00:33:44,793 - Where'd you get yours? - My friends gave them to me. 479 00:33:44,888 --> 00:33:46,441 Where'd you get yours? 480 00:33:46,538 --> 00:33:52,103 I made it, actually, at this prison pen-pal convention thing. 481 00:33:52,981 --> 00:33:54,139 That's awesome! 482 00:33:55,130 --> 00:33:56,089 Yeah. 483 00:33:58,812 --> 00:34:02,543 Hey, what's up with this cassette? There are no holes in it. 484 00:34:04,221 --> 00:34:05,410 Give me that. 485 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,870 - What are these? - No, no. Bad! 486 00:34:09,284 --> 00:34:11,784 Not for you. Very bad! 487 00:34:18,873 --> 00:34:20,948 It's too bad all the girls are so busted. 488 00:34:21,290 --> 00:34:24,400 The only way you or I are going to get any is with angel eyes over there. 489 00:34:25,241 --> 00:34:27,587 What? Are you nuts? 490 00:34:27,773 --> 00:34:31,962 No, no, no. These girls are slamming, my man. 491 00:34:32,375 --> 00:34:34,799 And I am going to do all of them. 492 00:34:36,020 --> 00:34:39,250 Yum! By the way, what's with you and Max? Are you guys... 493 00:34:43,039 --> 00:34:44,133 Are you guys having sex? 494 00:34:44,229 --> 00:34:48,221 Because if not, I wouldn't mind bench pressing her with my dumbbell. 495 00:34:49,138 --> 00:34:51,957 Listen, brah, you're not bench pressing anyone with your dumbbell. 496 00:34:52,053 --> 00:34:54,451 If I so much hear your dumbbell took a Pilates class... 497 00:34:54,547 --> 00:34:56,587 - What? - ...I'm gonna cut it off. 498 00:34:58,191 --> 00:35:01,011 I swiped a whole case of this stuff from my uncle before coming. 499 00:35:01,106 --> 00:35:02,929 I'm gonna need it if I'm stuck here for the summer 500 00:35:03,024 --> 00:35:05,767 instead of souping up this bitching firebird I found in... 501 00:35:05,862 --> 00:35:07,904 Yeah, yeah, yeah, great. Where do they keep the chainsaws here? 502 00:35:08,165 --> 00:35:09,181 What? 503 00:35:09,276 --> 00:35:11,560 We might want to find out, right? Where they keep them? 504 00:35:11,655 --> 00:35:14,917 Because you never know when you might need a chainsaw. 505 00:35:15,452 --> 00:35:17,678 Why do we need a chainsaw for a slumber party? 506 00:35:19,326 --> 00:35:23,320 I know what's going to go down at this camp, and it's not pretty. 507 00:35:27,881 --> 00:35:30,183 So, where's that other guy you came with? 508 00:35:32,024 --> 00:35:35,363 My brother. Yeah, he's... 509 00:35:36,242 --> 00:35:38,709 He's napping somewhere. 510 00:35:39,618 --> 00:35:44,300 Okay, let's go. You want to go? Yeah, let's. You got all the wood you need. 511 00:36:01,137 --> 00:36:02,327 Mom, no! 512 00:36:09,346 --> 00:36:11,322 - Get dressed. Now. - Oh, my God, Max! 513 00:36:11,418 --> 00:36:12,895 What are you doing here? Get out! 514 00:36:12,990 --> 00:36:15,425 Nancy, if you go through with this, you're going to get hurt. 515 00:36:15,521 --> 00:36:17,868 Kurt said he liked me, okay. He said it. 516 00:36:18,514 --> 00:36:20,980 Yeah, they always say it, they just don't act like it. 517 00:36:24,422 --> 00:36:26,494 God. You must think I'm a total zero. 518 00:36:33,243 --> 00:36:38,001 I just wanted to feel grown-up, special. 519 00:36:39,879 --> 00:36:41,799 You are special. 520 00:36:42,296 --> 00:36:44,502 I'm the shy girl with the clipboard and the guitar. 521 00:36:44,598 --> 00:36:45,831 Special to who? 522 00:36:47,782 --> 00:36:49,135 Special to me. 523 00:36:53,497 --> 00:36:55,002 Who are you, Max? 524 00:36:57,793 --> 00:37:02,091 Soak this moment in, babe, because you're always gonna remember me. 525 00:37:02,205 --> 00:37:03,164 Shit. 526 00:37:04,506 --> 00:37:08,958 Two for the price of one. You babes just couldn't wait, could you? 527 00:37:09,070 --> 00:37:10,533 - We're leaving. - Too late. 528 00:37:10,912 --> 00:37:14,251 Genie's already out of the bottle. Make a wish. 529 00:37:18,162 --> 00:37:20,889 - Where's Max? - I don't know. Do you hear that? 530 00:37:36,534 --> 00:37:38,499 What'd I say? Leave her alone! 531 00:37:44,821 --> 00:37:48,006 Lock the windows! Shut the curtains! He can see us! 532 00:37:48,158 --> 00:37:49,788 Who is he? 533 00:37:49,883 --> 00:37:52,610 Max. You have to tell them about Billy. 534 00:37:52,991 --> 00:37:54,911 Oh, God. He's here. 535 00:37:55,906 --> 00:38:01,241 Not Billy Murphy? I mean, he's just a legend. 536 00:38:01,391 --> 00:38:02,777 I love legends. 537 00:38:03,195 --> 00:38:07,187 Loch Ness, Bigfoot, Bon Jovi. All of them. 538 00:38:08,488 --> 00:38:10,254 It all happened so long ago. 539 00:38:24,292 --> 00:38:26,636 Little Billy Murphy went to camp here decades ago. 540 00:38:28,089 --> 00:38:30,832 And he was always picked on for being... 541 00:38:30,928 --> 00:38:31,868 Guys? 542 00:38:31,963 --> 00:38:33,926 ...different, ugly. 543 00:38:34,954 --> 00:38:37,161 - And then one summer... - This is bad. 544 00:38:37,257 --> 00:38:39,002 ...the hottest one on record, 545 00:38:39,098 --> 00:38:41,945 the counselors decided to play a little prank on him. 546 00:38:44,276 --> 00:38:45,629 What's happening? 547 00:38:57,126 --> 00:39:00,291 This is... What, are we home? 548 00:39:00,386 --> 00:39:03,113 God, why am I colorblind? Am I having a stroke? 549 00:39:05,450 --> 00:39:06,684 I think we're in a flashback. 550 00:39:17,457 --> 00:39:20,238 It started as just another ordinary day. 551 00:39:20,333 --> 00:39:21,963 - But little did they know... - What the hell is that voice? 552 00:39:22,059 --> 00:39:23,369 ...something was about to go horribly wrong. 553 00:39:23,861 --> 00:39:27,104 No one really knows how Billy was before it happened. 554 00:39:27,199 --> 00:39:30,364 The counselors hated him, and the other kids bullied him mercilessly. 555 00:39:30,460 --> 00:39:33,154 - Stop! - Where'd you get these clothes? 556 00:39:36,366 --> 00:39:38,484 - Guys, that's Billy. - Come on, Billy. 557 00:39:40,164 --> 00:39:42,409 Hey, what are you little idiots doing? 558 00:39:42,504 --> 00:39:44,327 Billy's in there, and he's been in there forever. 559 00:39:44,422 --> 00:39:48,047 Billy locked himself in the outhouse, thinking he'd be safe, but he was wrong. 560 00:39:48,143 --> 00:39:50,761 Billy. Billy, open up. 561 00:39:51,365 --> 00:39:53,209 I know how to get him out. 562 00:40:11,311 --> 00:40:15,228 Billy had third-degree burns all over his body because of the counselors' prank. 563 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:19,002 And the only thing that could distract Billy from his terrible pain, 564 00:40:19,098 --> 00:40:21,917 was thinking about what had been done to him. 565 00:40:22,013 --> 00:40:25,331 And during those long, agonizing nights in the burn ward, 566 00:40:25,428 --> 00:40:28,199 Billy's fear was slowly replaced by something else. 567 00:40:29,877 --> 00:40:30,881 Hatred. 568 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:33,949 His face would never be the same. 569 00:40:34,288 --> 00:40:37,644 And so, he made a mask to hide his scars on the outside, 570 00:40:37,740 --> 00:40:39,737 but his anger grew on the inside. 571 00:40:40,578 --> 00:40:43,129 All Billy wanted was to make everyone as afraid 572 00:40:43,226 --> 00:40:45,801 as he was on that terrible day. 573 00:40:46,409 --> 00:40:50,523 He started his reign of terror by returning to exact his revenge. 574 00:41:03,210 --> 00:41:05,800 He killed 8 counselors that night. 575 00:41:05,896 --> 00:41:08,600 One for every month he spent in that hospital bed. 576 00:41:08,696 --> 00:41:12,167 And legend has it Billy still lives in these woods in his own little shack, 577 00:41:12,262 --> 00:41:14,825 waiting for new counselors to cross his 578 00:41:14,836 --> 00:41:17,796 path, waiting to get revenge again and again. 579 00:41:32,823 --> 00:41:34,414 The car! The car! 580 00:41:34,511 --> 00:41:36,628 Guys, you can't leave! Literally! 581 00:41:43,602 --> 00:41:46,689 Get up! Get up! Stop! Don't come any closer. 582 00:41:46,785 --> 00:41:48,859 Okay, just listen. We can explain. 583 00:41:49,011 --> 00:41:51,753 You can't leave. None of us can. 584 00:41:51,849 --> 00:41:53,922 - Not until he's dead. - Until who's dead? 585 00:41:54,803 --> 00:41:56,265 - Billy Murphy. - What? 586 00:41:58,868 --> 00:42:00,221 Drive! Drive! 587 00:42:04,008 --> 00:42:07,596 - Look, I'm just trying to save you. - Why? Why are you trying to save me? 588 00:42:07,691 --> 00:42:09,119 Well, because you're my... 589 00:42:12,525 --> 00:42:13,681 My first friend here. 590 00:42:16,782 --> 00:42:18,182 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! 591 00:42:18,278 --> 00:42:19,784 Help me. I'm not dead! 592 00:42:19,927 --> 00:42:21,815 Duncan! You're alive! 593 00:42:25,835 --> 00:42:28,232 No, you killed Duncan! 594 00:42:28,328 --> 00:42:32,183 Let's just go to a hotel and just relax for the night 595 00:42:32,278 --> 00:42:34,320 and maybe we can get into something. 596 00:42:38,762 --> 00:42:41,064 Oh, my God, Kurt! Oh, my God! 597 00:42:41,217 --> 00:42:44,141 - Paula! She's alive! - Paula, don't move! 598 00:42:50,730 --> 00:42:51,885 Shit! 599 00:42:58,018 --> 00:43:00,222 I can't believe they're all dead. 600 00:43:00,319 --> 00:43:02,793 They were never alive. 601 00:43:02,889 --> 00:43:04,864 They weren't real. Neither are you. 602 00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,166 Because this is just a movie, 603 00:43:07,261 --> 00:43:10,925 and Paula was the only one that could kill Billy. 604 00:43:11,021 --> 00:43:12,374 We're screwed. 605 00:43:16,544 --> 00:43:18,967 What does she mean, "just a movie"? 606 00:43:24,408 --> 00:43:27,288 So, we're in a movie? 607 00:43:28,013 --> 00:43:32,328 But this is a horror movie, and Billy Murphy's really after all of us. 608 00:43:32,425 --> 00:43:33,979 Why do I have to wear all this stuff again? 609 00:43:34,075 --> 00:43:36,954 Because you're scripted to do a striptease at the slumber party, 610 00:43:37,066 --> 00:43:39,369 and when you take your top off, Billy comes running. 611 00:43:39,828 --> 00:43:43,645 But why does he hate my boobs? Because they're not big? 612 00:43:43,740 --> 00:43:48,541 - So, wait, is new wave real? - Yeah. Yeah, of course. 613 00:43:48,688 --> 00:43:50,806 But I'm not real. 614 00:43:51,298 --> 00:43:56,054 You're only real in the movie. So, yeah, you're real here. 615 00:43:57,550 --> 00:43:58,707 Cool. 616 00:43:59,276 --> 00:44:02,478 - Guys, we just wanna get home. - But, okay... 617 00:44:02,574 --> 00:44:04,358 But you said Paula was the only one who could kill him. 618 00:44:04,454 --> 00:44:06,603 And she just died. 619 00:44:06,832 --> 00:44:10,018 Exactly. Which is why we need to nominate a new final girl. 620 00:44:11,896 --> 00:44:13,173 And I'm willing to be it. 621 00:44:16,039 --> 00:44:19,649 - What? - Well, you're not a virgin. 622 00:44:19,990 --> 00:44:21,604 I am, too, a virgin! 623 00:44:23,057 --> 00:44:26,287 I technically am that... Whatever, what does it matter? 624 00:44:26,395 --> 00:44:28,391 Because it just does, Vicki. 625 00:44:28,926 --> 00:44:32,015 You have to be a virgin in this movie in order to kill Billy, okay? 626 00:44:32,110 --> 00:44:36,332 And the only true-blue virgin here is Max. 627 00:44:38,670 --> 00:44:39,826 I'm not the only virgin. 628 00:44:40,894 --> 00:44:43,547 - Gertie, you're a virgin. - No. Not anymore. 629 00:44:44,615 --> 00:44:46,002 Last summer, with that guy Gerry. 630 00:44:46,533 --> 00:44:49,033 He had the like weird mustache and he winked, remember? 631 00:44:49,142 --> 00:44:50,255 Isn't he autistic? 632 00:44:51,366 --> 00:44:55,208 Yeah. Yeah, he is. But he's also very romantic. 633 00:44:55,317 --> 00:44:57,937 Damn, superfreak. I like! 634 00:44:58,847 --> 00:45:00,384 - Okay, let's make a plan. - Yeah. 635 00:45:00,726 --> 00:45:03,775 - We need to get Billy's machete. - The one he's holding? 636 00:45:03,871 --> 00:45:05,487 Yeah. Duncan said that's the only way to kill him. 637 00:45:05,636 --> 00:45:06,640 Everything else just slows him down. 638 00:45:06,786 --> 00:45:08,368 So, we're supposed to just pry it from his hands? 639 00:45:08,513 --> 00:45:11,360 Well, we don't really have any other options. Okay? 640 00:45:11,504 --> 00:45:13,556 Look, we just have to get his machete into Max's hands 641 00:45:13,653 --> 00:45:16,806 so she can chop his head off, end the movie, and we can all go home. 642 00:45:18,486 --> 00:45:20,985 No. No way! I can't do this. 643 00:45:21,171 --> 00:45:22,954 See? She's even saying that she can't do it. 644 00:45:23,050 --> 00:45:25,550 Vicki! Enough! Jesus! Can you just shut up for a second? 645 00:45:25,659 --> 00:45:27,350 God! I can't believe I put up with you for so long. 646 00:45:28,997 --> 00:45:30,840 - Max, you got this. - No. 647 00:45:31,297 --> 00:45:33,675 Max. You can do this. 648 00:45:34,059 --> 00:45:36,649 If it wasn't for you, we'd all be dead burning in the theater right now. 649 00:45:36,745 --> 00:45:38,053 Yeah, and look where I got us. 650 00:45:40,082 --> 00:45:43,515 I can do it. I can be the final girl. I'm a virgin, too. 651 00:45:43,610 --> 00:45:45,303 I didn't sleep with Kurt. 652 00:45:45,452 --> 00:45:48,681 So, now I guess I'll be able to save myself for George Michael after all. 653 00:45:48,790 --> 00:45:51,669 - I wouldn't hold your breath, honey. - Why? 654 00:45:52,549 --> 00:45:55,199 It doesn't matter. Nancy, you can't be the final girl. 655 00:45:55,311 --> 00:45:57,248 It's not in your DNA, or whatever. 656 00:45:57,344 --> 00:45:59,088 You're the shy girl with the clipboard and the guitar. 657 00:45:59,185 --> 00:46:00,220 You get laid and then you die. 658 00:46:00,335 --> 00:46:02,835 You're just part of the body count. No offense. 659 00:46:07,930 --> 00:46:09,513 That came out wrong. 660 00:46:11,459 --> 00:46:13,423 - Thanks a lot. - Max. 661 00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:16,335 I was just trying to help. 662 00:46:26,074 --> 00:46:27,033 Nancy? 663 00:46:32,365 --> 00:46:34,131 Am I really gonna die? 664 00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:39,116 Yeah. 665 00:46:39,615 --> 00:46:42,614 So, I guess I never grow up, 666 00:46:44,178 --> 00:46:46,448 or fall in love or have kids. 667 00:46:47,670 --> 00:46:50,950 I had this dream that when I graduated college, 668 00:46:51,045 --> 00:46:53,347 I would meet a guy. 669 00:46:54,228 --> 00:46:56,498 And we'd have a baby. A girl. 670 00:46:56,722 --> 00:47:01,981 And if she ever needed me, I would do anything for her. Anything. 671 00:47:05,621 --> 00:47:08,315 I would've made a really great mom. 672 00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:12,228 The best. 673 00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:19,783 God, this totally sucks! It's so bogus! 674 00:47:19,967 --> 00:47:21,828 I should have known something was up with this place. 675 00:47:21,923 --> 00:47:22,940 I mean, think about it. 676 00:47:23,036 --> 00:47:25,611 What the hell kind of summer camp has waterbeds? 677 00:47:35,043 --> 00:47:37,159 What do we do now? 678 00:47:41,909 --> 00:47:43,185 We fight. 679 00:47:44,325 --> 00:47:47,451 All right, guys. No more junior varsity bullshit. 680 00:47:47,547 --> 00:47:51,171 We gotta lead with a pro-style offense. Something Billy won't see coming. 681 00:47:51,267 --> 00:47:53,051 We have to use everything we have at our disposal. 682 00:47:53,147 --> 00:47:54,893 I was thinking the best opportunity for an ambush 683 00:47:54,988 --> 00:47:57,195 would be the slumber party, with a few tweaks. 684 00:47:57,290 --> 00:47:59,917 That means it's just a question of luring him here at just the right time. 685 00:48:00,014 --> 00:48:02,316 - How are we going to do that? - I think I have an idea. 686 00:48:04,003 --> 00:48:05,594 "Operation Booby Trap?" 687 00:48:05,690 --> 00:48:08,539 Yup. And Tina's going to be the bait. 688 00:48:55,825 --> 00:48:57,059 Vicki, are you crying? 689 00:48:58,089 --> 00:48:59,277 I'm fine. 690 00:49:04,303 --> 00:49:07,044 Gertie, I'm sorry for that time in junior high 691 00:49:07,141 --> 00:49:09,461 when I told everyone to start calling you "Ba-chunk-adunk." 692 00:49:09,558 --> 00:49:13,988 And then I covered your locker in bacon. That was so crappy. 693 00:49:14,083 --> 00:49:16,048 And I'm so sorry. 694 00:49:16,884 --> 00:49:19,818 - I'm such a bad person. - You're not. It's okay. 695 00:49:19,914 --> 00:49:21,352 If it makes you feel better, 696 00:49:21,448 --> 00:49:23,446 last summer, I'm the one who spread the rumor 697 00:49:23,559 --> 00:49:26,100 that said you had a weird disease where you're always on your period. 698 00:49:26,973 --> 00:49:29,852 - Wow. That's evil. - Thank you. 699 00:49:32,228 --> 00:49:36,657 Hey, Max, if I'm going to die tonight, then I don't want to die without telling you 700 00:49:36,753 --> 00:49:42,361 that when your mom died, you shut down completely. 701 00:49:43,237 --> 00:49:45,200 And just cut me out of your life. 702 00:49:46,381 --> 00:49:49,108 And I missed you. I missed our friendship. 703 00:49:49,911 --> 00:49:54,111 And then you two became best friends and, I don't know, I got jealous. 704 00:49:54,207 --> 00:49:57,947 And so, I did some really bad things and I'm not proud of them. 705 00:49:58,043 --> 00:50:00,554 - Vicki. - No, no, no, just let me finish, okay. 706 00:50:00,650 --> 00:50:04,199 - I know that I've become a... - A bitch? 707 00:50:04,295 --> 00:50:09,750 Yes, thank you. But the thing is, Max, I've always looked up to you 708 00:50:10,049 --> 00:50:12,274 because you were always the brave one. 709 00:50:13,500 --> 00:50:15,193 So, be brave again. 710 00:50:16,953 --> 00:50:18,535 Vicki, you don't have to die. 711 00:50:20,367 --> 00:50:22,304 I'm the mean girl in the '80s horror movie. 712 00:50:22,401 --> 00:50:24,943 And we're past the mid-point, so, you know, 713 00:50:27,003 --> 00:50:29,228 I'd say that I've overstayed my welcome. 714 00:50:43,114 --> 00:50:46,201 No, no, no! No. No, Tina. 715 00:50:46,297 --> 00:50:48,887 Tina, hey. Yeah. No. 716 00:50:48,982 --> 00:50:52,289 You know not to take off any of your clothes until we say so, right? 717 00:50:52,742 --> 00:50:54,967 - Yeah. - No sex. 718 00:50:55,810 --> 00:50:59,040 How could anyone think about sex when I have this rad gadget? 719 00:50:59,646 --> 00:51:01,871 - What is this thing, anyway? - It's a phone. 720 00:51:04,824 --> 00:51:07,127 Yeah. Please, I'm not that gullible. 721 00:51:08,047 --> 00:51:10,943 Hello, operator? Yes, I'm trying to make a call 722 00:51:11,038 --> 00:51:13,766 but I can't because my phone's not plugged into anything. 723 00:51:15,488 --> 00:51:16,504 Oh, my God, kill me. 724 00:51:16,601 --> 00:51:18,598 Guys, it's almost time. Let's get ready. 725 00:51:18,710 --> 00:51:19,824 Okay. 726 00:51:23,736 --> 00:51:24,848 How you holding up? 727 00:51:25,730 --> 00:51:28,152 Been better. How about you? 728 00:51:30,869 --> 00:51:32,834 I'm really scared. 729 00:51:35,012 --> 00:51:36,550 Are the arrows ready? 730 00:51:37,122 --> 00:51:39,588 Yeah, I'm on it. 731 00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:49,863 "Adderall." 732 00:51:57,222 --> 00:51:59,390 God, your parents must be freaking out right now. 733 00:51:59,485 --> 00:52:03,523 You've been gone for hours. They must be so worried about you. 734 00:52:03,744 --> 00:52:07,965 Not really. I never knew my dad. And my mom's away. 735 00:52:10,763 --> 00:52:12,039 What's she like? 736 00:52:12,873 --> 00:52:17,598 She was so beautiful and funny. 737 00:52:20,008 --> 00:52:21,774 She never knew how awesome she was. 738 00:52:22,615 --> 00:52:23,848 How'd she die? 739 00:52:24,764 --> 00:52:28,801 - I never said she died. - You said "was." So, I just figured. 740 00:52:29,366 --> 00:52:31,211 It's okay. You don't have to tell me. 741 00:52:32,474 --> 00:52:35,201 Here, I want you to have this. 742 00:52:38,956 --> 00:52:42,295 It's a friendship bracelet. So, you don't forget me. 743 00:52:43,368 --> 00:52:45,714 How could I ever forget you? 744 00:52:47,357 --> 00:52:51,557 You know, if this all works out, I'm really gonna miss you. 745 00:52:51,653 --> 00:52:53,081 When you go home, I mean. 746 00:52:54,569 --> 00:52:58,529 God, I sound totally molded. I know we just met, it's silly for me to say that. 747 00:52:58,673 --> 00:53:02,720 It's just... I guess it's like, who am I going to talk to after you leave? 748 00:53:02,815 --> 00:53:04,780 You know? Tina? 749 00:53:05,807 --> 00:53:07,160 She's not very smart. 750 00:53:08,185 --> 00:53:10,728 - Maybe you don't have to. - I don't? 751 00:53:11,178 --> 00:53:13,958 I mean, I carpool with her to camp, it's kind of inevitable. 752 00:53:14,055 --> 00:53:16,400 No, I mean, maybe you don't have to stay here. 753 00:53:16,970 --> 00:53:19,042 Look, I know in the movie, you're supposed to die, 754 00:53:19,232 --> 00:53:20,848 but that doesn't mean you have to, right? 755 00:53:21,803 --> 00:53:24,454 - Right. - And if you don't die, 756 00:53:24,565 --> 00:53:27,642 then that means you'll be around at the end of the movie, when we leave. 757 00:53:28,017 --> 00:53:28,976 Right. 758 00:53:29,091 --> 00:53:33,083 So, then who's to say you can't just come home with me? 759 00:53:34,115 --> 00:53:35,305 Oh, my God. 760 00:53:36,954 --> 00:53:38,493 - Where's home? - The Valley. 761 00:53:39,601 --> 00:53:40,638 The Valley. 762 00:53:42,209 --> 00:53:43,380 I don't know, Max, I don't know. 763 00:53:43,476 --> 00:53:45,873 You're just... You're kind of blowing my mind right now. 764 00:53:45,968 --> 00:53:47,475 No, think about it! 765 00:53:48,308 --> 00:53:51,779 If you come home with me, you can be whoever you want. 766 00:53:51,875 --> 00:53:54,926 You don't have to be the shy girl with the clipboard and the guitar. 767 00:53:55,021 --> 00:53:56,908 - You could be... - I could, like, go to college. 768 00:53:57,015 --> 00:53:58,751 - And drive a convertible. - Right. Totally! 769 00:53:58,856 --> 00:54:00,134 An go shopping at the mall. 770 00:54:00,467 --> 00:54:02,934 Actually, people don't really shop at malls anymore. They shop online. 771 00:54:03,038 --> 00:54:03,997 What's online? 772 00:54:04,687 --> 00:54:06,817 Never mind, I made that up. Just keep going! 773 00:54:06,913 --> 00:54:10,307 Okay! I wanna shop online and I wanna start over. 774 00:54:10,402 --> 00:54:13,512 You know, I could be different in the Valley. 775 00:54:25,938 --> 00:54:27,706 What if I don't make it, Max? 776 00:54:30,502 --> 00:54:32,118 This time, you will. 777 00:54:32,805 --> 00:54:33,841 Hey, guys. 778 00:54:35,872 --> 00:54:40,521 Hi. So sorry to interrupt, but we have a bit of a situation. 779 00:54:45,500 --> 00:54:48,551 - Tina, are you... - I'm great! I'm amazing! 780 00:54:48,647 --> 00:54:52,487 - She ate your Adderall? - Tina, hey. Eyes here. 781 00:54:54,362 --> 00:54:55,340 Yes. 782 00:54:55,435 --> 00:54:57,977 How many of my Tic Tacs did you have? 783 00:54:58,198 --> 00:55:01,351 They're not Tic Tacs! And I had three. 784 00:55:01,688 --> 00:55:03,586 No, 10 or 30! 785 00:55:03,682 --> 00:55:05,774 - It was 30! - Maybe we need to re-strategize. 786 00:55:05,870 --> 00:55:08,640 No, no, no. I got this. I got this. 787 00:55:08,899 --> 00:55:09,992 Tina. 788 00:55:10,089 --> 00:55:13,852 - Are you sure you can... - Look, man, I got this, all right? 789 00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:17,379 I got this! I so got this. 790 00:55:18,298 --> 00:55:21,069 She'll be fine. I really think she's more focused now. 791 00:55:21,175 --> 00:55:22,789 - Right, Tina? - Yes! 792 00:55:26,391 --> 00:55:28,617 Guys. Let's start. 793 00:55:33,448 --> 00:55:36,907 All right, guys. This is it. Sound off. Ready. 794 00:55:37,937 --> 00:55:39,399 Ready! Ready! Ready! 795 00:55:39,739 --> 00:55:41,780 - Totem pole? - Ready! 796 00:55:41,888 --> 00:55:43,710 - Stereo? - Ready. 797 00:55:43,806 --> 00:55:45,312 - Arrows? - Ready! 798 00:55:47,718 --> 00:55:50,948 All right then, Nancy, unleash the beast. 799 00:56:54,693 --> 00:56:56,688 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, he's coming. He's coming! 800 00:56:56,801 --> 00:56:59,008 - He's coming! - Not yet. Wait to move! 801 00:56:59,104 --> 00:57:00,795 No, no! He's so close! 802 00:57:04,205 --> 00:57:05,514 Tina! 803 00:57:07,159 --> 00:57:08,512 Cut the rope! 804 00:57:18,667 --> 00:57:20,281 - Gertie. - Yeah? 805 00:57:21,312 --> 00:57:22,273 I love you. 806 00:57:23,230 --> 00:57:24,268 Screw it. 807 00:57:49,852 --> 00:57:53,082 Everybody in the kitchen! Now! Now! Go now! 808 00:57:57,869 --> 00:58:00,291 It's okay. It's gonna be fine. 809 00:58:03,046 --> 00:58:05,011 Gertie, come on. Hurry up! 810 00:58:09,682 --> 00:58:10,960 Go! 811 00:58:28,095 --> 00:58:29,709 Go, go, go! Go! 812 00:58:32,046 --> 00:58:33,160 Come on, Nancy. Come on. 813 00:58:41,367 --> 00:58:42,327 Shit! 814 00:58:43,055 --> 00:58:44,091 It's stuck! 815 00:58:51,493 --> 00:58:53,075 We're stuck! We're stuck! 816 00:58:54,293 --> 00:58:56,029 No! 817 00:59:06,454 --> 00:59:08,068 Max, it's okay. 818 00:59:09,675 --> 00:59:10,713 Just go. 819 00:59:15,737 --> 00:59:17,045 Go. 820 00:59:47,036 --> 00:59:52,644 What's happening? 821 00:59:54,708 --> 00:59:58,974 It's slow motion. 822 01:00:57,348 --> 01:01:01,111 Jump! 823 01:01:14,188 --> 01:01:16,547 - Flashback! Flashback! Flashback! - What? 824 01:01:16,642 --> 01:01:18,195 - Just say the words! - What words? 825 01:01:18,292 --> 01:01:20,306 Billy Murphy was a kid who went to camp here years ago. 826 01:01:20,402 --> 01:01:22,016 Tell me the story again! Hurry! 827 01:01:22,665 --> 01:01:24,142 He was always picked on for being different, ugly. 828 01:01:24,238 --> 01:01:25,514 Keep going. Don't stop! 829 01:01:25,657 --> 01:01:27,057 And then one summer, the hottest one on record, 830 01:01:27,153 --> 01:01:29,345 the kids decided to play a little prank on him. 831 01:01:36,205 --> 01:01:38,823 - Where the hell are we? - A flashback! 832 01:01:40,041 --> 01:01:41,578 Does that mean we're safe? 833 01:01:54,272 --> 01:01:56,192 Holy crap, this thing is heavy. 834 01:01:58,722 --> 01:02:00,075 Guys, where's Billy? 835 01:02:00,447 --> 01:02:03,803 Billy locked himself in the outhouse, thinking he'd be safe, but he was wrong. 836 01:02:03,900 --> 01:02:05,362 Oh, my God, that's me! 837 01:02:06,584 --> 01:02:08,778 That's what I sound like? 838 01:02:14,602 --> 01:02:16,259 - Look at him run! - Wait. 839 01:02:16,405 --> 01:02:17,833 Where's Billy going? 840 01:02:18,475 --> 01:02:19,436 Wait. 841 01:02:33,857 --> 01:02:36,967 I don't know that part of camp. I've never seen that cabin before. 842 01:02:42,066 --> 01:02:45,537 - Shit! End the flashback! End it! - Just skip to the end! 843 01:02:45,634 --> 01:02:47,348 Legend has it Billy still lives in these woods 844 01:02:47,359 --> 01:02:49,048 waiting for new counselors to cross his path, 845 01:02:49,162 --> 01:02:50,975 waiting to get revenge again and again. 846 01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:57,957 - Did we leave him there? - I wouldn't count on it. Let's move. 847 01:03:12,254 --> 01:03:13,411 Oh, my God! Are you okay? 848 01:03:13,788 --> 01:03:15,982 - Yeah, I'm fine. - Max! 849 01:03:16,205 --> 01:03:18,432 - Max! - No! 850 01:03:18,661 --> 01:03:19,907 Let me go! Let me go! 851 01:03:20,002 --> 01:03:21,618 - She's gone, Max. - No! She's alive! She's... 852 01:03:21,730 --> 01:03:23,421 Max, she's gone. 853 01:03:24,952 --> 01:03:26,227 No. She's not. 854 01:03:31,472 --> 01:03:32,432 Come on. 855 01:03:56,521 --> 01:03:58,823 Keep pressure on it. Don't move, I'll be back. 856 01:03:59,281 --> 01:04:00,711 Max, she's dead. 857 01:04:03,002 --> 01:04:05,151 She's supposed to die, just like the rest of them. 858 01:04:05,266 --> 01:04:08,353 No, she's lived this far into the movie, longer than she ever has before. 859 01:04:08,449 --> 01:04:09,835 She's not real. 860 01:04:11,097 --> 01:04:13,186 - None of this is real. - Yes, she is! 861 01:04:13,282 --> 01:04:14,439 Max, wait. 862 01:04:18,155 --> 01:04:20,227 I don't wanna die alone. 863 01:04:25,212 --> 01:04:28,245 Listen to me. You're not gonna die. 864 01:04:28,971 --> 01:04:30,739 Nobody else is dying tonight. 865 01:04:34,074 --> 01:04:35,765 I know exactly where he's taken her. 866 01:06:04,178 --> 01:06:05,454 Hey, Nancy. 867 01:06:08,781 --> 01:06:10,820 Max? Max! 868 01:06:20,939 --> 01:06:22,477 He was right there. 869 01:06:57,495 --> 01:06:58,455 No! 870 01:07:09,655 --> 01:07:10,615 Get up! 871 01:07:12,455 --> 01:07:14,452 Come on, let's get out of here. 872 01:07:15,293 --> 01:07:16,832 Come on, come on. 873 01:07:28,374 --> 01:07:31,222 - Chris. - Max, over here. 874 01:07:32,249 --> 01:07:33,786 Sit down. 875 01:07:39,651 --> 01:07:43,611 - Am I dying? - No. I know how to fix it. 876 01:07:44,446 --> 01:07:48,363 You're not the final girl yet, Max. Because of me. I'm still alive. 877 01:07:49,164 --> 01:07:50,295 - No. - Yes. 878 01:07:50,392 --> 01:07:53,621 No! I'm already dying, so you could survive! 879 01:07:53,882 --> 01:07:57,646 - You can be the final girl. - No, Max. No. 880 01:07:58,371 --> 01:08:00,444 That's not who I'm supposed to be, remember? 881 01:08:00,979 --> 01:08:03,248 I'm just the shy girl with the clipboard and the guitar. 882 01:08:03,818 --> 01:08:05,705 Yeah, but you wanted to change that. 883 01:08:06,579 --> 01:08:10,419 - Honey, let me do this. - No. 884 01:08:10,684 --> 01:08:14,218 Max, I'm not afraid. 885 01:08:17,320 --> 01:08:19,011 I wanted to save you. 886 01:08:19,927 --> 01:08:23,190 Max, you did. 887 01:08:24,263 --> 01:08:26,122 You did, Max. 888 01:08:26,219 --> 01:08:29,481 Just by letting me be here with you. 889 01:08:30,437 --> 01:08:34,255 I've never felt more real or more alive ever before. 890 01:08:34,350 --> 01:08:35,430 No. 891 01:08:35,617 --> 01:08:38,803 No, Mom, you belong at home, with me. 892 01:08:39,835 --> 01:08:43,691 Look, your name is Amanda Cartwright, and you live in Encino, 893 01:08:43,786 --> 01:08:46,989 and you love Bette Davis Eyes and Mel's Diner. 894 01:08:47,086 --> 01:08:52,421 And you wanted to be the biggest movie star, more than anything in the world. 895 01:08:55,217 --> 01:08:56,604 And you had a daughter. 896 01:08:59,820 --> 01:09:01,249 You have a daughter. 897 01:09:05,727 --> 01:09:07,648 I'm not going back without you. 898 01:09:11,098 --> 01:09:13,017 I don't wanna lose you again. 899 01:09:13,899 --> 01:09:15,088 Max. 900 01:09:16,699 --> 01:09:20,692 I'm not lost. I'm right here, all right? 901 01:09:21,147 --> 01:09:23,450 You'll always know where to find me, okay? 902 01:09:24,716 --> 01:09:26,407 But you have to let me go. 903 01:09:27,668 --> 01:09:29,251 You have to let me go. 904 01:09:51,719 --> 01:09:53,072 Bye, Max. 905 01:10:02,191 --> 01:10:03,544 I love you. 906 01:10:07,524 --> 01:10:09,488 That's what I never got to tell her. 907 01:10:10,746 --> 01:10:12,054 Don't worry. 908 01:10:13,046 --> 01:10:16,125 Wherever she is, she knows. 909 01:10:17,382 --> 01:10:19,225 You were right about one thing, you know? 910 01:10:20,029 --> 01:10:21,142 What? 911 01:10:21,985 --> 01:10:23,676 I'm a movie star. 912 01:10:45,306 --> 01:10:47,455 Her hair is Harlowe gold 913 01:10:49,410 --> 01:10:51,910 Her lips sweet surprise 914 01:10:53,169 --> 01:10:55,745 Her hands are never cold 915 01:10:56,852 --> 01:10:59,249 She's got Bette Davis eyes 916 01:10:59,346 --> 01:11:01,461 She'll turn her music on you 917 01:11:03,220 --> 01:11:05,490 You won't have to think twice 918 01:11:07,133 --> 01:11:09,359 She's pure as New York snow 919 01:11:10,661 --> 01:11:13,432 She got Bette Davis eyes 920 01:11:16,146 --> 01:11:17,762 And she'll tease you 921 01:11:18,064 --> 01:11:19,680 She'll unease you 922 01:11:20,059 --> 01:11:23,474 All the better just to please you 923 01:11:23,933 --> 01:11:27,392 She's precocious and she knows just 924 01:11:27,615 --> 01:11:31,686 What it takes to make a pro blush 925 01:11:31,797 --> 01:11:35,805 She got Greta Garbo stand off sighs 926 01:11:35,902 --> 01:11:39,666 She's got Bette Davis eyes 927 01:11:44,915 --> 01:11:47,414 She'll let you take her home 928 01:11:48,827 --> 01:11:50,748 It whets her appetite 929 01:11:52,702 --> 01:11:55,354 She'll lay you on her throne 930 01:11:56,346 --> 01:11:58,820 She got Bette Davis eyes 931 01:11:58,917 --> 01:12:01,491 She'll take a tumble on you 932 01:12:02,599 --> 01:12:04,902 Roll you like you were dice 933 01:12:06,550 --> 01:12:08,820 Until you come out blue 934 01:12:10,001 --> 01:12:12,697 She's got Bette Davis eyes 935 01:12:59,446 --> 01:13:01,409 You just fucked with the wrong virgin. 936 01:15:02,384 --> 01:15:03,498 It's over. 937 01:15:34,683 --> 01:15:36,986 - What is happening? - I don't know. 938 01:15:44,081 --> 01:15:45,117 Hold on tight! 939 01:16:21,249 --> 01:16:23,398 This food is so disgusting. 940 01:16:23,858 --> 01:16:26,738 Speak for yourself, girl. This tapioca pudding is incredible! 941 01:16:27,196 --> 01:16:30,228 You've had like 15 of those in the last 30 minutes. 942 01:16:30,380 --> 01:16:31,884 I counted them, 15! 943 01:16:32,298 --> 01:16:34,599 Little known fact, I can't stand tapioca pudding. 944 01:16:34,751 --> 01:16:37,861 - Then why did you eat 30 of them? - Let me eat my feelings in peace. 945 01:16:38,934 --> 01:16:39,937 - Max! - Hey! 946 01:16:40,813 --> 01:16:41,893 You're awake! 947 01:16:49,520 --> 01:16:51,636 When you get a second, try the pudding. 948 01:16:53,739 --> 01:16:57,275 - Wait, where are we? - We're home. 949 01:17:00,490 --> 01:17:03,272 - But was it a dream or... - No, not at all! 950 01:17:03,367 --> 01:17:04,830 Remember? 951 01:17:05,208 --> 01:17:09,600 That is a machete wound, poorly stitched by an incompetent doctor. 952 01:17:09,697 --> 01:17:11,370 I'm actually more concerned about tetanus 953 01:17:11,382 --> 01:17:13,188 because the machete had a bit of rust on it, 954 01:17:13,303 --> 01:17:16,107 and I did not see the doctor give me a shot. 955 01:17:16,218 --> 01:17:19,536 Duncan, I love you and I'm so happy you survived, 956 01:17:19,631 --> 01:17:20,610 but do you hear yourself 957 01:17:20,705 --> 01:17:21,722 - when you say things? - God. 958 01:17:21,818 --> 01:17:24,010 - Do you hear the words in your head first? - And she's back. 959 01:17:24,617 --> 01:17:27,696 I feel like the jock at high school just gave me his promise ring. 960 01:17:48,208 --> 01:17:50,357 - Doctor, stop. - Come on. 961 01:17:51,123 --> 01:17:54,080 - My shift's almost over. - I have to do my rounds. 962 01:17:54,230 --> 01:17:56,500 And what beautiful rounds they are. 963 01:17:57,261 --> 01:17:59,029 Oh, my God. Of course. 964 01:18:02,784 --> 01:18:04,826 Of course, what? 965 01:18:12,527 --> 01:18:13,564 The sequel! 966 01:18:17,860 --> 01:18:20,587 This is so great! The sequel is so much cooler than the original. 967 01:18:28,025 --> 01:18:28,984 Mark. 968 01:18:30,173 --> 01:18:33,299 Let me just wipe my sweat off with this tampon. 969 01:18:33,394 --> 01:18:34,399 Blooper! 970 01:18:36,809 --> 01:18:39,690 How about you go suck a turd? 971 01:18:40,145 --> 01:18:42,371 That's perfect, so perfectly bad. 972 01:18:42,678 --> 01:18:46,867 Like that's Bad. Michael Jackson Bad? That guy's talented. 973 01:18:46,973 --> 01:18:48,403 - King of Pop. - Yeah. 974 01:18:51,078 --> 01:18:53,074 Wasn't expecting that. 975 01:19:01,052 --> 01:19:02,413 - No! - Shit. 976 01:19:02,509 --> 01:19:03,468 It's broken! 977 01:19:05,922 --> 01:19:09,457 Oh, God, you killed Duncan. You smell great, by the way. 978 01:19:09,950 --> 01:19:11,312 You killed him! 979 01:19:11,408 --> 01:19:13,951 I promise I won't tell the cops if we just go have sex! 980 01:19:14,324 --> 01:19:16,090 Right now! Now! 981 01:19:21,496 --> 01:19:22,576 I'm not even scared. 982 01:19:26,522 --> 01:19:27,874 God, Jesus. 983 01:19:28,785 --> 01:19:29,941 ...Chris. 984 01:19:30,050 --> 01:19:31,010 One more time! 985 01:19:33,426 --> 01:19:36,398 I've only had sex one time and it was with my cousin Heather! 986 01:19:36,495 --> 01:19:41,524 Honestly, that wasn't your fault, and I won't tell the cops if we have sex. 987 01:19:42,786 --> 01:19:43,941 Let's... 988 01:19:47,619 --> 01:19:50,361 Look, Chris, you and I don't know each other well. 989 01:19:50,457 --> 01:19:52,376 So, lose the familiarity. 990 01:19:53,795 --> 01:19:55,256 What a rude little girl you're being. 991 01:19:57,092 --> 01:20:00,475 She's not like this at home. She's just showing off. 992 01:20:01,198 --> 01:20:03,096 You guys have to learn how to not break. 993 01:20:03,192 --> 01:20:05,462 I'm scared. 994 01:20:05,685 --> 01:20:07,623 I get it, because you've only had sex with one person 995 01:20:07,719 --> 01:20:11,036 and I'm freaking double-digits slayer over here. 996 01:20:11,132 --> 01:20:12,594 You probably don't even know this move. 997 01:20:18,113 --> 01:20:19,576 I feel like I'm walking out like Kramer. 998 01:20:21,259 --> 01:20:22,218 Jerry. 999 01:20:24,864 --> 01:20:27,591 Well, all my bones are broken except for the one. 1000 01:20:28,202 --> 01:20:32,632 I'm actually talking about this arm. My penis is severely injured. 1001 01:20:32,728 --> 01:20:34,496 It's like split in three different parts. 1002 01:20:42,892 --> 01:20:44,408 Okay, okay, people are dying. 1003 01:20:44,504 --> 01:20:46,239 Oh, my God! 1004 01:20:48,187 --> 01:20:51,569 It's not "Ew." It's not "Ew." 1005 01:20:53,097 --> 01:20:54,788 Too sexy? Was it too sexy? 1006 01:20:55,667 --> 01:20:57,052 Impossible. 1007 01:20:57,162 --> 01:21:01,003 Ever since I was a little boy, I've dreamed of being the final girl. 1008 01:21:04,066 --> 01:21:06,947 I want you to come study. 1009 01:21:10,856 --> 01:21:11,816 One more time. 1010 01:21:13,887 --> 01:21:17,880 Well, Vicki, you're a virgin. No, you're not, you're a slut. 1011 01:21:20,330 --> 01:21:22,479 He had, like, the weird mustache. 1012 01:21:26,199 --> 01:21:29,080 Yeah, right! A phone that I can put in my mouth? 1013 01:21:36,979 --> 01:21:37,938 From the movie. 1014 01:21:38,359 --> 01:21:39,593 Jesus! 1015 01:21:49,407 --> 01:21:51,174 All right, see you in there. 1016 01:21:59,150 --> 01:22:00,109 That's a cut!